There is no perfect relationship

All relationships are more or less dysfunctional in different ways and at different times. No perfect relationships exist. To stay in a committed relationship, we have to adapt: If there is enough good in the relationship to compensate then it proves to be worth it.

However, even positive relationships can fail after too many broken promises or repeatedly unresolved conflicts. If cumulatively dysfunctional interactions occur, the relationship probably won’t survive a major situation. Many couples push relationship distresses under the rug without resolution, and find much later that they are unable to recover from these festering sorrows. Identifying and exploring what typically damages relationships might have helped. Learning some new ways to cope – through understanding what our dysfunctional patterns are –  can help us to overcome them.  Successful couples learn, over time, to do whatever they can to diminish the damaging effects. To stay committed to each other, they focus more on the things they love about each other and try to  minimize troublesome situations.


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