We all have different parts of ourselves, different aspects to our personalities, different roles we play. Some of the simpler or more obvious parts – father/mother, sister/brother, friend, worker etc. – immediately come to mind. Sometimes it can feel hard to locate what we see as our real ‘self’ in amongst those different and at times conflicting parts.
We sometimes think that in order to succeed or fit in, we need to play only one part, while we hide or discard the rest. This sets up a tricky paradigm, where trying to be loved or acknowledged is inherently tied to disowning aspects of ourselves: leaving us battling with which parts of ourselves are acceptable and which not. Being accepting of our less acceptable parts – the jealousy, hatred, selfishness etc. – can be hard to even contemplate, particularly if we’ve grown up being told those parts are bad or abhorrent. Nevertheless, those parts exist in all of us. We can work on recognising them so as to not be dictated to by them, but we deny them or bury them at our peril.
Owning your whole self brings you into the reality of your life because you aren’t fighting with the truth of who you are and your circumstances. It enables connection with others because we all relate to the human condition and you aren’t working so hard to manage what you want people to see. We are all a ‘little of this and a little of that’ and one aspect will never define us entirely. Let the sub-personalities co-exist, let them have a conversation: it doesn’t make you crazy, it actually makes you sane.