I’ve was asked to write a blog about common relationship problems by a counselling website I advertise on. It suggested ‘sexual problems’, ‘infidelity’, ‘money concerns’, ‘work/life balance’ as some of these frequent problems. I started thinking about what I hear to be ‘common relationship problems’; and all those certainly fit the bill! However, what strikes me about all of them (and the vast majority of what I hear that upsets and angers people about their partners) is that the other person isn’t acknowledging or acting on what it is they think they need from their significant other. Whether this is more sex, different sex, anxiety about money or frustration about who does what around the house and with the children. So often we can be too hung up on our own agendas (such as still smarting from previous hurts or seeing in others painful relationships from the past) to be able to really listen to and accept what it is that our partners need from us – or to be able to tell them what it is we need from them. Putting ourselves into their shoes can feel risky; we might end up seeing ourselves in a less than favourable light. But if we can’t do that, what hope do we have of expecting the same for ourselves? And what hope do we have of dealing with all that life throws at us – be that sexual problems, infidelity, money concerns or work/life balance?